How real and aware are we in the Online encounter?
In the September blog, I will provide comments and background on why we should be increasingly interested in the quality of online encounters rather than, for example, the quantity. First, I would like to ask you a few questions.
How much of your time is involved in various online digital encounters? Have you thought about your attitude towards these situations and environments? And how do you feel about your and others’ online communication skills and abilities? How well do you recognize your stress in online encounters? How well do you think you are heard and understood or how well do you feel you understand others?
When I interview people about the quality or meaning of online encounters, I often hear that face-to-face encounters are better than those on a computer screen. However, many of the respondents already mostly meet on screen: in one-on-one meetings, team meetings, meetings, training, and, as in my work, coaching sessions.
How could we increase the value and quality of online encounters if we were there anyway?
I will touch on four things that can answer the question: self-awareness, message formulation, the impact of technology, and technostress. There are other points of view, and we will return to them in new blogs. The first consideration is awareness of yourself as a communicator and your attitudes in the online environment. Do you know how you are on the screen? What thoughts do you have about yourself, the other person, or others at that moment? Unconscious attitudes, thoughts, and interpretations in the background can sometimes sabotage our true intentions. You can do at least one effective exercise before and during the online meeting. When you come to the screen, check what you bring to the space that increases confidence in yourself and others. Trust is the keyword here. In coaching, this is called “Check-In” with yourself.
Another consideration is the form or design of communication in an online situation. Would you be a verbose speaker in your presence? It might not work in an online meeting, where the media brings delays and visual and technical limitations. You can practice, for example, the following: shorten sentences and reduce filler words, condense a larger discussion into one sentence, increase direct eye contact, and avoid glancing to the sides, upwards or downwards. Suppose you are less talkative and quiet by nature. In that case, online communication gives you the perfect opportunity to speak with a self-controlled visual hand signal and to take your place in an appropriate place..
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Light the lamp and add another one!
Technical issues are a significant influence on the online experience. My experience with online encounters tells me that they are often belittled, or the shortcomings of technology are justified and explained, even hidden behind them. If you want to increase quality, trust, effectiveness, and being heard – and why wouldn’t you want to – you should carefully pay attention to simple technical issues. Adequate daylight or lighting produced by a daylight lamp, both for the face and in the background, is essential. According to several studies, different wallpapers and blurs do not increase reliability and believability, but the opposite. So please use the factual background more often, if it works in the moment. If you only work with a laptop and its camera, you are within the very modest limits set by technology. A separate screen and a high-quality camera allow you to set the viewing angle directly on your face. If, instead, you look down at the laptop screen, you lose a significant part of building trust, connection, and credibility. Testing headphones, microphones, and the echo or background noise the space brings is paramount because the sound quality can influence the formation of connection and understanding even more than the image. In addition, you can plan the auxiliary use of various visual, functional, and technical programs, which will be the topic of a different blog later.
From technostress to fluent online experiences
A few more words about stress awareness: situational awareness, an interactive attitude, and smooth online technology skills affect one’s well-being and energy, as well as others’ coping and concentration. The demands of the online world are precisely among the factors that cause technostress. Stress is caused not only by the demanding communication situation itself but also by the sensory demands of technology, the knowledge-skills demands, and the constant flood of stimuli brought by digital devices. Please keep in mind these and make sure your day is not full of online encounters for days in a row.
You learn and develop yourself as an online communicator when you empathically consider the limitations and opportunities of others’ awareness, attitude, interaction methods, and technology. For the next online meeting, could you do an experiment or make a conscious observation about the blog’s themes: how do you strengthen trust, how do you shape your communication style in the media, what could you improve your technical environment, and how do you identify your own or others’ technostress?
This year, I am researching coaches’ Online Coaching awareness of self, context, communication, and stress in a coaching situation. I will write more about the topic and the results next year. Feel free to stay tuned if the topic interests you or ask for more tips.
Let’s meet for real online, too!
Tuuli Kirsikka
Tuuli Kirsikka Pirttiaho is Thewind Coaching Company CEO and Head Coach, PCC Professional Certified Coach ICF, CPCC Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, PCEC Professional Certified Executive Coach Henley, PQ Positive Intelligence Coach
